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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Multi-Wheeler



We, humans are basically comfort-seekers.. but I enjoy struggling..i may be sounding like a masochist but it's true at a certain place and it's none other than my multi-wheeler! Yes.. i travel by a multiwheeler everyday.. We call it 'local trains'-the lifeline of Mumbai.. Mumbaikars begin and end their day with this friend.. I can't imagine a life without local train.. inspite of having suffered powerful hits and stamps from passengers I would definitely claim local train to be the best means of transport.. Learning about local trains and their behaviour is altogether a new set of knowledge you gain.

During peak hours

A local train usually consists of either 9 or 12 cars. Cars which we refer to as 'dabbas' are generally confusion creators.. Ladies have 2 dabbas in 9 car and 3 dabbas in 12 car trains dedicated.. An unexpected change in number of cars can make your feet come into action for reaching your dabba, your eyes communicating with your friends and co-passengers about the underlying fun.. We, college students have certain arrangements to be made prior to boarding a train..our pumpkin-like bags come ahead of us. This makes it easier to direct our bags.. but this method isn't foolproof.. sometimes your bag wishes to go in one direction while you in another.. You spend indeed a tough time convincing your bag.. meanwhile you can hear people chiding you and your bag.. you got to be either resistant or pave way to the jostles.. if incapable of both, you can convince them about moving as soon as next station arrives..some people suffer from 'trainscreamonia' who starting screaming once they enter the train.. ignoring helps you a lot more than responding.. When the station arrives you keep up the promise and sincerely try moving in.. but those getting down at succeeding stations try coming out for whom we stand as an obstruction. Now we happily listen to next set of scoldings "humko agle station mein utarna hai.. aap aise khade rahoge tho hum kaise utar paayenge" you should quietly move aside pulling your pumpkin bag.. people who are confident enough about their debating skills can start showing off their talent..somehow you finish managing the scene.
You are bound to get tired and wish you can settle down somewhere.. as far as ladies compartments are concerned, we have this tradition of reserving seats.. you neednt ask 'aap kidhar utar rahe ho', just point at them with your forefinger and give a vertical jerk to your brow.. it conveys all you want to.. you will get few answers in a continuous series as you move your finger serially including answers like 'last' which means final destination.. Now it's time for you to choose among those options.. now these choices is made on different factors.. the person should get down at the earliest station, of course.. but that isn't enough.. if there's another person getting down at next station to the former but her neighbours are also going to get down at the same station of latter then that seat is more preferable.. why so? that's because you will be getting a fourth seat at first and gradually be shifting as the people get down..so earlier the other people get down, more comfortable seat will you be getting. Moreover, one more consideration includes the window seat which is a dream of every commuter. After lots of calculations and analysis you reserve the seat and keep your fingers crossed hoping the female will remember your face and wont give the seat to someone else because she doesnt remember your face else you will have to participate in another argument with 'maine bola tha seat' stuff. You finally take few deep breaths of satisfaction.
Some are lazy to undergo these procedures and choose to stand on the stand(like seat) nearby the door. We have the tradition of reserving them too. Your duty doesnt end there. In this crowd, it might happen that someone else 'steals' your stand. Being alert matters a lot. Similar to seats, you keep shifting until you reach the door. Finally you take in some fresh air. All these time you would have been constantly bearing stinky sweats and also be rubbing your hands and even face on them. A window seat or a door relieves you from that contaminated air.

Second class ladies compartment

You might also come across certain crazy people who start yelling unnecessarily.. I once came across such a female who asked me to move inside for her comfort.. i couldn't afford to go inside since once inside i will be permanently sent inside. i asked her to go inside instead. She started yelling at me.. i didnt lose my temper and calmly made her understand the situation but she wasn't ready to listen. My friend lost her cool. She started scolding her at a higher tone. Then the female exceeded friend's voice level. They were parallely indulged in a tone competition. That lady shouted that are mad and gave me a powerful push and a punch in my stomach and turned and stood in my place. I asked why she was standing on the way. She said she wanted to get down at next station. We were surprised. The same lady who was fighting to getting inside was now talking about getting down at next station. Weird!! Co-passengers couldn't stop laughing at her. This is what I talked about trainscreamonia sometime back.
If you are travelling in a comparitively less crowded train, you can pass your time by shopping inside. You can buy a variety of earrings, buckles, pouches, keychains, eatables, etc. everything a lady will want to buy at a lower cost.

Train shopping

You are also free to pass your time reading a book, listening to your favorite song, listening to rhythmic bhajans being sung in gents' compartment or engage in your own prayer sessions.
The another concept which involves in local trains is the gang. You make a separate group of friends called the train friends. Sometimes you even end up finding your best friend. The group of friends enjoy the entire year travelling together. They celebrate festivals, birthdays, give treats etc. in train itself. They provide life to the train. They also have a good knowledge about all the regular commuters. They are of a great help to people. Like most of who have an online life, these people have a train life. If at all it turns out to be a holiday, they don't miss to meet and hang out together. The kind of bonding they share is worth admiring.
The next concept which matters a lot is the 'downing' concept. 'Up' means towards CST and 'Down' means from. Being a dombivlikar, I have been lucky enough to get options of a number of dombivli locals. Kopar, the previous station to dombivli is also luckily very near to my place. Taking complete advantage of this, we board the train downing to dombivli and peacefully sit near the window and again up in the same train as it leaves from dombivli to cst.. It's like doing a to and fro for just getting your favorite seat. People boarding from dombivli started envying us.. Some came up with the idea of reaching the station early, 'upping' to kopar and then boarding the 'downing' train. This irked some females of some dombivli locals and they started kicking out downing people. This whole game of up and down is still a matter of complication for non-commuters..
One thing which i am really sad of is the maintenance. People spit, throw chocolate wrappers, plastic covers, cut vegetables, orange peels etc to their pleasure inside the train. We should keep in our mind that we owe this train a lot for making our travel so easy. Is this the way we pay back? During the times of monsoon it's really disgusting as everything turns into a lump of marsh. There's an urgent need to create an awareness among commuters.
Indicators and announcements are a pair of capricious components of mumbai railways. You may rely on them but be ready for a change.. Sometimes you find the train entering the platform without any announcements. This can pose a problem during crowded hours when you dont manage to look into the indicator and people around you are totally unaware of its characteristics. Sometimes both of them don't work and put you into a complete dilemma. The travellers inside are your only source of information. Dombivli station is believed to be one of the most dangerous stations since upping people dont allow people to get down at dombivli.. You either gotta sway your umbrella or stand in a corner for crowd to get settled.. but both can't guarantee a safe descend..
With displays and speakers installed in new trains, tracelling for new comers has become easy.. Also for regulars, it has helped in keeping us awake, alert and aware of its position.The best part of it is the announcement of 'agla station kopar' where the word kopar ends with a comma as if she gonna explain you something more about it :D
Another speciality of local trains is it's own set of people who ask for money. It includes both beggars and eunuchs. I have been seeing many beggars regularly. I have even watched some child beggars grow. Truly speaking, there are few songs which I learnt from them. They have amazing talent. Their songs touch my heart may be because they sing from their hearts which makes both the hearts communicate. I have also seen some of them giving a percussionist effect by using two small wooden planks and believe me, it doesn't sound less than a tabla. Some typical songs which i have heard are ' pardesi pardesi jaana nahi' , 'sherowali maa', 'shirdiwale saibaba','keshava madhava 'etc.

If you observe closely you can see those two planks in her hand

In case with eunuchs, the primary action taken by me once they enter the train is to place head somewhere and clos the eyes. Your ears might be crying at the sound of loud claps of them but never let your eyes know about it. A perfect solution to escape from their 'blessings' ( they keep their hands on head and bless something like ' tum bahut aage jaaogi' ).
All the above descriptions were related to the second class compartments which majority of them board. There's an another set of compartment who wish to pay more to increase their comfort level of travelling. For ladies, they have provided just an eighth part of it. During peak hours, you find no difference between a first and second class except for some traditions which are slightly modified. You never get to sit a fourth seat over there unless the third seat is occupied by your friend and it's not under the list of reservations. You have seats with cushions (which are torn by the end of the year) and you can very well communicate with english if you want to as it's the 'compartmental' language of first class. This area has been less infected by the trainscreamonia. This place has less scope for vendors as this place hardly has any place for their voices to echo. During peak hours, you might even find yourself standing with one foot on air as there's hardly any place where people can shift. You find a balanced force acting on you and sometimes you dont get down people get you down. It will seem as you have landed on the platform flying. Mumbai's Moonwalk!

First class ladies compartment

Another pastime when you find yourself yawning through the journey is the interesting ads. There are some ads which you are already aware of. There are some more private agency ads which you find quite funny. Some of them promise you lacs of rupees for just sitting at home, while some help you to find friends ' call at 9819.... and find friends and life partners for yourselves' or some say this is not a golden opportunity this is a diamond opportunity which may further inspire some to put up notices like platinum opportunity. You can even find black magic ads which help you to achieve whatever you want and destroy the lives of whomever you want to. I came across one such funny ad. It was an ad of massage parlor. It said, ' FAMOUS ladies masaj parlor, only for ladies, 'fakt striyaansathi'(means the same in marathi), 'keval mahilaaon ke liye'(emphasizing on the fact that this is restricted to ladies only) ' vyavasayik purushaankadoon masaj karoon milel'(meaning will be getting massaged by employed MALES) 'khatrisheer tasech labhdayak'( it's worth)'ghari yeoon masaj karoon milel'( we can even get you massaged at your place). Now that was soo funny and uhhh.. i immediately clicked a pic of it before anyone could notice me doing this.

the funny ad I saw

Trains have even become graffiti walls for many. The walls are beautifully decorated with permanent markers. Another pastime for males would be the ladies coach. If taken a survey of male concentration, it would be mainly concentrated on video coach where males can have a good time watching females. That's the time when they are reminded of practising music and brushing up their throats. Females can't even balance on the net provided as a separation between the two compartments as all the apertures would already be occupied by male fingers. In video coach, unlike other coaches, men compete to stand rather than sit :D
The worst part is when the trains are delayed or cancelled.. The station gets overloaded with crowd of 3-4 trains. During floods or some obvious train cancellation hours, people do feel pity on platforms, immediately get down the station and start walking through tracks..

people walking on tracks due to cancelled trains

But, these uneasiness and hardships have given unlimited memories to cherish. Each and every travel has only turned out ot be a lesson. It has taught us the lessons of sharing, caring, adjusting, being shrewd, cunning and clever. Life would have been so hard without these multi-wheelers. Thanks to you my dear train and hats off!! for providing such a wonderful service throughout your lifetime. A train horn a day keeps frown away!

Dombivli station on holidays



Thursday, August 13, 2009

Face the Truth

I remember those days when we used to play STD( Stare-Truth-Dare) keeping our fingers crossed. When asked to take a pick from these three letters, T used to be my favourite. But I found it hilarious when this child's play jumped onto the small screens. I couldn't contain my curiousity to know the pattern of this truth game. I tuned in to the channel only to see two gentlemen well-dressed sitting facing each other. The first set of questions made me go 'huh'! I wondered if these contestants required a camera and a hotseat to answer these not-so-uncommon questions. But the further grilling made my mouth open wide. It was making a bold attempt to conquer the frontier of uncountable thoughts, break the barrier of ethics and filch the rights of confidentiality. It's believed humans are supposed to have humanity. But here, the fiend of sadism has already claimed its victory. The contestant starts off with his friends and foes flanking him and the show gracefully turning them into his foes. Some people, of course, tried to put it off the screens but in vain.
But i have many questions left unanswered. firstly, what does the show aim at? If it were the great personalities with a dignified past, we could have hesitantly forgiven under the pretext of setting their example before people. But sadly, this technique fails.. so finally what's the answer??
It's astonishing to see people gearing up for their cheap publicity. Also, shame on people who derive pleasure sticking on to the TV sets at this hour..another face of sadism i would say.. It has become a matter of pride to be infamous as they can sense the term 'fame' hiding between.They not only earn money but also enough contempt in society!!
'Think before you act' is how a famous proveb goes. You have hundreds of visitors checking in and out of your mind and you hardly bother about them.. but the hotseat constantly enquires you about all those whom you snubbed.. It's as funny as redepositing a cancelled cheque!!!
Alas! Money and fame have become everything in life... they have turned people blind towards morales and culture..I pity the preys of this carnivore..you never know!! one day you might find yourselves answering such questions raised by your GenX who are currently the silent watchers of the show and no polygraph test gonna prove you right then.. precaution is better than regret!!!

Friday, July 31, 2009

Poem by my friends

This is a simple and sweet poem from heart by my dearest friends :) I was extremely happy to receive it as one of my birthday gifts.. the best gift ever :)
Dedicating this post to them :)


"This is a poem about a shaitaan we know,
Always hasmukh , showing teeth white as snow!
She is unique , she is antique
our R&D Head! always analytic!
She is bold, her boli is bindaas
Plays mindgames, at that she's very smart
Has a liking for animals, love for ghaas :P
That's why she is down to earth and humble
All agree she is very very adorable :D"




These six words were left blank.. Made me hunt for these six chits from a heap of paper bits and fill the blanks.. :D

Monday, July 13, 2009

WHACKY TALKY

Nowadays, we hardly find anyone without a cellphone.. that small thing always clinging on to the ears..sometimes i wonder if they are really talking!!!People will no more look at you weirdly when you are talking to yourself..(Phew!! that's a big advantage)..These days it has become more of an ornament than a communication tool..We do get fascinated when we see them stylishly displayed..long to own one..while their big brothers are now accompanied by grime lamenting about their immobile nature... No wonder the count of old age homes have been on the rise.. Sayings like 'Old is gold' have been dumped into the trash.. It's amazing that this sticky sachet has an ultrasonic voice too which constantly sings its anthem " dont dare to belittle coz i am the devil" But we cant hear them.. they are ultrasonic!!! let alone ultrasonic.. we cant even hear our moms calling.. This devil didnt spare even our eardrums!!!
But certainly it has helped few of them to flash on the news.I came across a breaking news last year.. a female whose fingerbones were powdered only because she thought she would have some finger exercise with this devil.. sorry.. i am gonna call it devil henceforth...proud to be in news right? well, there's another set of people who advise you to have some finger exercise by pleasing you with their talents.. But none would have ever imagined that this talent would cost hundreds of lives.. don't stick to human beings.. i am talking about the aerials.. We all have mourned over the story of Abhimanyu's death in Chakravyuha.. Too harsh isn't it? But we never realized that now it's we who are responsible for the barrage of electromagnetic waves that drive the poor birds to extinction..Neverthless to say, we have even taught the children to attack them.. Babies learn to say 'Hello' much before they learn to recognize their parents!! Thanks to this technology that it has reduced the outflow of money for toys... Days aren't far when children will be learning about sparrows in place of dinosaurs..
But, it feels so good when you speak to your near and dear ones... If not for this devil (oops!), we would definitely not have been alerted by anyone about the rising levels of Mithi river.. kudos technology!!you are good at putting periods to question marks and question marks to periods too!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

The 'Schooly' Child

June 15th, 2009, a sweet chirpy morning tickled my eyes which couldn't stop from opening its door to welcome the beauty of nature. Longing to see some scenes of sunrise, it eagerly peeped out of the window. But alas! I forgot that it isn't going to be the the same anymore. The school bags have already geared up to gain weight, unlike those size zero models and hang on something soft and hard... oh yeah.. shoulders.. The shoulder owners, who had definitely not slept the previous night, are in a state of ambiguity whether to cry or to be happy. Be happy, for the reason that those bundle of pages lying on their bags will be relieving them from those tiring first day lectures by giving a special treat to the nostrils and cry because they arent oblivious of the fact that there's going to be a half dozen months more to gain their independence. Wonder if these children really know that their destiny is not all about this when they are ferociously dragged by their parents to somehow push them into the four-wheeler before it bades a goodbye??!!! The struggle doesn't end here... after all they are school students and there's bound to happen a bench-fight,else a big bash is in waiting at their houses. The day begins with a prayer.. Teachers asking students to join their palms and close their eyes.. but only the children themselves are aware of the small hole beneath the eyelidswhich catch hold of the teacher's actions and that their head bowed actually helps those 'eyeholes' to admire the new ironed uniforms they have worn.. little do they realize that this uniform is going to be the one they will be hating in near future..Now the next wait is for recess.. the child boringly stares at the new class teacher who has already foiled all the expectations of an interesting lecture the child had..a fear creeps into the mind if it will get any teacher to be mentioned as its favorite ..the good look of all new sharpened pencils and erasers waiting to be undressed go in vain as they become the prey of this child's boredom.. after the first period the child starts the countdown of the ringing of bells.. as soon as it reaches half the number of times the bell gonna ring a day, the child starts screaming as it can kill all those rats which were running in its stomach. Hardly does the child wait for the next bell.. It wishes the day had only the 4th bell and the final bell...now back to classroom which welcomes it with few confusions about seats.. Again the pencil and rubber get ready to get themselves decorated and tortured by the student..the countdown again starts..but suddenly it forgets to count.. There comes one wonderful lecture.. the hunt for a favorite teacher comes to an end.. Now the child can proudly mention to his non-school friends about he too having a favorite teacher..The pre-final bell rings followed by the National Anthem and next comes the much awaited final bell.. the child runs out of the classroom to meet his mom at home as if it has been ages since they have met..In the evening, when i peeped out of the window i could see the fresh child-in-the-morning returning home with a dull and dry face.. its back already tending to get a hump. All the experiences and happenings gush out of the child's mouth as soon as it meets her..Thirty years later when this child dangles from a dadar local for its dear life, it will wonder and laugh at all these unworthy stupidities and then will it realize the fact that the Pythagoras gibberish which it had studied with doors of its room shut hasn't even taught it to fix a flat tyre!!!!

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